Strange events should have portentous beginnings, shouldn’t they? One always expects the abrupt flash of lightning and eerie howl when one spots the castle on top of the hill – not a smiling, liveried butler politely asking if he can take your coat. On the other hand, perhaps it wouldn’t be a portentous even if there was a castle on top of the hill, merely a third rate horror movie. Anyway, you be the judge.
First off, an apology.
I should have posted this particular piece before the Two rotten eggs and a Jellyfish, since it puts that post into context, and a number of future posts as well. Basically, the plan goes this way:
A month or so ago, I had the mother of all random conversations with two of my oldest friends (Madhav and Gaurav), which led to an oodleplex of bizarre ideas floating about. Unfortunately, it was two in the morning when it began, and we were sozzled to the gills too – which might explain the randomness of the ideas somewhat.
At any rate, in an effort to capture some of what seemed like the funkiest ideas in existence, I decided to put them down in shorthand, and work them into a partially presentable format the next morning. For those of you who don’t know me, this is usually the beginning of a hell of a lot of procrastination, and the eventual canning of the idea itself. Thankfully, this time, I had an irate friend on my back, insisting that I complete the job – so here it is, piecemeal.
If you notice a post with the title somewhat similar to Two of something, and One of the other, it’s probably a continuation of the writeup – the argument was just too incredibly far ranging for me to even try and compress it into one post.
For a minor introduction, though, here’s the perspectives from which the argument was conducted.
Goosey (Gaurav) will take the question apart bit by bit, requiring watertight, titanium encased definitions of each word used in the sentence. Nitpicking has been raised to an art form by this particular fowl – perhaps because he’s deathly afraid that otherwise, someone might actually ask him for an opinion.
Pig (that’s me) will constantly throw out completely unrelated comments, and when one of them strikes him, will come up with endless, and increasingly far fetched arguments to support what he’s saying. Bullshit has been raised to an art form by this particular barnyard animal – for the simple reason that since these arguments are doomed from the start, there’s no real reason to involve his brain in it.
Moose (Madhav) will, increasingly upset by the bullshit on one side, and the verbal diarrhea on the other, resort to pointlessly heckling both the others, since his initial point has been perverted beyond recognition right at the start.
So, there you have it. The Realist, the Visionary, and the Mediator, in that order. With a starting lineup like this, it should be pretty easy to see why we never get anywhere with these arguments. And why they’re absolutely brilliant fun.
So there it is. Play safe, now.
First off, an apology.
I should have posted this particular piece before the Two rotten eggs and a Jellyfish, since it puts that post into context, and a number of future posts as well. Basically, the plan goes this way:
A month or so ago, I had the mother of all random conversations with two of my oldest friends (Madhav and Gaurav), which led to an oodleplex of bizarre ideas floating about. Unfortunately, it was two in the morning when it began, and we were sozzled to the gills too – which might explain the randomness of the ideas somewhat.
At any rate, in an effort to capture some of what seemed like the funkiest ideas in existence, I decided to put them down in shorthand, and work them into a partially presentable format the next morning. For those of you who don’t know me, this is usually the beginning of a hell of a lot of procrastination, and the eventual canning of the idea itself. Thankfully, this time, I had an irate friend on my back, insisting that I complete the job – so here it is, piecemeal.
If you notice a post with the title somewhat similar to Two of something, and One of the other, it’s probably a continuation of the writeup – the argument was just too incredibly far ranging for me to even try and compress it into one post.
For a minor introduction, though, here’s the perspectives from which the argument was conducted.
Goosey (Gaurav) will take the question apart bit by bit, requiring watertight, titanium encased definitions of each word used in the sentence. Nitpicking has been raised to an art form by this particular fowl – perhaps because he’s deathly afraid that otherwise, someone might actually ask him for an opinion.
Pig (that’s me) will constantly throw out completely unrelated comments, and when one of them strikes him, will come up with endless, and increasingly far fetched arguments to support what he’s saying. Bullshit has been raised to an art form by this particular barnyard animal – for the simple reason that since these arguments are doomed from the start, there’s no real reason to involve his brain in it.
Moose (Madhav) will, increasingly upset by the bullshit on one side, and the verbal diarrhea on the other, resort to pointlessly heckling both the others, since his initial point has been perverted beyond recognition right at the start.
So, there you have it. The Realist, the Visionary, and the Mediator, in that order. With a starting lineup like this, it should be pretty easy to see why we never get anywhere with these arguments. And why they’re absolutely brilliant fun.
So there it is. Play safe, now.
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